Cripes, Man!!!

I just got back from watching Saw II.
I love those kinds of movies.

I'm not going to give anything away here, but I will say this:

Fucking NEEDLES man!! God-damn!!!

Blaaaahhg!

So I decided to take another stab at this "blogging" thing. I dabbled with it a couple years ago, and the result was this ill-fated LiveJournal thing that I haven't touched in over a year and a half. It isn't that I never have anything to say (though i'm sure that most of what goes on in my head is of absolutely no interest to anyone but myself and even i'm not always that impressed), but usually by the time I sit down in front of a computer to start typing i've already moved on to something else and the moment is lost. That's probably why some people carry around those little voice recorder gadgets. To capture those stray thoughts while they're still fresh and interesting.

So why am I bothering to try this again? One reason is that i've always thought it would be cool to keep a journal. I never got around to doing it because...well, partly because i'm just lazy. Also I never really knew where to start. I always felt that it should start at some kind of significant point. A birthday. Or New Year's Day. Something like that. Otherwise the first entry would go something like:

"Dear Diary: today I got up and took a shower. Then I had some breakfast. I watched tv for a little while and opened yesterday's mail. I thought about vacuuming the living room but I didn't really feel like it so I didn't. I can't figure out what to have for lunch. I need to go grocery shopping, but first the car needs gas. The car is really dirty and I need to wash it. It's too hot today. The water would dry too fast and leave spots. I was going to do it yesterday but it was too cold."

Not very exciting, is it? But of course, that's what life is. 90% of it is just that sort of drudgery. Even the most interesting people in the world spend a great deal of their time doing little things like opening mail, brushing their teeth (hopefully), gassing up the car, etc. Necessary stuff, but nothing of the sort one would choose to start their memoirs with.
So i'd put it off and all the so-called "significant points" would come and go and of course by then i'd forgotten all about starting a journal.

So why now? A friend of mine, who is a pretty funny guy, started one and I guess it rekindled my interest.

"Mike's blog is funny. My blog sucks. I want a funny blog! Hmm...maybe I could cut and paste his blog entries into mine..."

I had to abort that plan since, even though it looked good on paper, it had some fundamental flaws. Namely, that it would be too difficult to explain to people who knew me that not only does the camera add 20 pounds, it also subtracts all the hair from my head. A few of my friends would probably buy that explanation, but others might remain skeptical. So Iguess i'll have to do it the hard way. Maybe i'll even stick with it this time. Who knows...some of this stuff might even be interesting.



naaahhhh....

People are insane!

No, really. People are out of their fucking minds.
A friend recently sent me this.

Now...I like toys. Get me in a hardware store, electronics store, or gadget store and i'll spend hours wandering the aisles drooling over things that I don't need, will probably never use, and until that moment didn't even know existed but now could not possibly live without.

That said, there isn't anything ever created that would encite me to stand outside a store all night, knock people down, and step on their faces just so that I could be the first to buy it. Apparently i'm in the minority on this, as it has become an annual tradition. So much so that newscasters anticipate it, and every year it's just part of the "Holiday Tradition."

Some try to cast blame on the people who are doing the stampeding. This is justified, in my opinion. Nobody is forcing them to behave like animals, they choose to. And i'm a big believer in personal responsibility.

Others try to cast blame on the retailers for not being prepared or providing adequate security and safeguards. This is also justified. They aren't making people act the way they do, but they for damn sure know that it's going to happen. "Hey, look everybody! Laptop computers for $299! Big screen plasma tv's for just $500!! Don't run, don't push!" Yeah, sure they won't.

And no, it isn't just a holiday phenomenon. Shopping bargains bring out the asshole in people any time of the year. What is the deal with people? I could understand it if they were fighting over bags of food from a U.N. relief truck when it's the only thing they've had to eat in a month, but they're living in the richest nation on earth and fighting over goddamn luxury items!! Is saving 20% on that iPod going to change your life that significantly? I think not.

A few years ago I made a decision to give up gift exchanges at christmas. I told my friends and family not to buy me anything. I wasn't buying for anyone else.* Instead, I told them, lets just get together, have a nice dinner and some quality time together. I cannot begin to express how much better this works out. My holiday stress level went down to almost zero (I say almost because I still have to deal with the hordes of lunatics as I go about my daily life). I'm not broke or in debt for six months afterward. I get the pleasure of laughing at those who have lost sight of what the holidays are about in the mad scramble to find that ever-elusive perfect gift.

My advice to anyone who finds themselves elbowing their way through a mob of frantic shoppers in an attempt to max out their credit card buying something that they're just going to give away is this: stop. Breathe. Take a moment to think about what you're putting yourself through. Decide if it's really worth the stress and expense. Go home for god's sake. If you really need to buy gifts, shop online. You can probably get just as good a deal, it's send right to your door, and you'll have more time to focus on what's really important.

And you'll make the lines that much shorter for me.